This post may be a little bit different from the rest...but it's been something that I've been thinking about off and on for the last little while and need to put some thoughts out in writing.
As a Christian, as I have been practically all my life, I have grown up with the message that "God will give you the desires of your heart"...and I truly believe that. There is not a day that goes by where I do not think that the strong dreams and desires that I have in my heart are from God and will come to fruition when they are meant to.
What I have been struggling with lately is a young adult group that I attend here in Newcastle. I won't name any names, because that's really not the point of where my thinking has come from. What the real issue is....is that week after week (when I'm not bogged down by school work) a SMALL number of young adults get together to have a Bible study. Yes, we read the Bible....but it has seemed, and it has done for quite a few months now, that the Bible study is restricted to what was preached the previous Sunday. There is no originality and therefore people are not really getting into the Word like they profess that they are. This bothers me...Sunday sermons are great...and yes, should conjure up some discussion after the fact, but it should not be the dictation of what is discussed in young adult groups. I'm sorry to say, but sometimes the Sunday sermons don't speak out to the young people of today because pastors gear them towards the congregation that shows up on a Sunday.
Now I'm not saying that they never relate to young people, but what I'm trying to say is that when you are attempting to get together a group of young adults, not all of whom attend church on Sunday and are at very different points in their lives, you cannot just throw at them a Bible study where they are meant to pick apart the message that was given on the previous Sunday. Young people, especially in today's world, are faced with greater stressors and problems, and if people really took a look at the major issues among the youth, they would see that a sermon on "being godly preachers" won't necessarily speak to them in deep and profound ways. You have to reach them in unique and meaningful ways that speak directly to them. And I'm afraid you won't get that by "playing it safe and simply rehashing the Sunday sermon".
Another thing that has really been on my mind about this group is that EVERY single week....they say God ALWAYS gives you everything you ask for. That's simply not true! Why won't any of them admit that sometimes God says NO when you ask Him for something! They don't even consider that...all I have ever heard them tell people (particularly the ones who are new Christians, or who haven't accepted Christ yet) is that if they ask God for something, He will provide it. STOP creating delusions for these people...you're leading them into a false belief of who God really is. He says no when He knows what the better thing for us is. I have been told No many times, and it doesn't make me believe in God any less...it puts me back into my place and gives me the reality check that I so desperately needed at that particular time. Telling these people that God will always give them what they want will give a false sense of hope and that's not what Christianity is about.
All my life, growing up as a Christian in a Christian home, I have been taught to think of God as a father-like figure. And as any parent would agree....if a child asks for something, you don't always say yes to them. Sometimes, the best answer is NO, even if the child can't see that. They ask for candy and it's 20 minutes before dinner, you say No because you know, as their parent, that having a healthy meal is much more important that satisfying a sugar craving.
So why is this group continually deluding people of the truth?! That makes me angry...and really I have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now and I'm afraid that there is no one that I can talk to there because they all believe the same thing. And to me that's quite sad, because as a Christian we are called to go out and spread the truth...not create some fanciful picture that God will always provide the things WE want! We have to learn that sometimes the answer will always be No...we don't always know what's best for us.
This group...I'll keep going, simply because there are a couple people that go on occasion that I hope to see. But overall, I have been gently reminded of the passage which speaks of being aware of false prophets. Now I'm not saying that they are "false prophets" in the direct connotation, but I am going to be going to these group meetings with even more awareness than before. Last year, before I went back to Canada for the summer the group professed to have a number of desires for the group...one stood out in particular....they wanted the group to grow....it hasn't...and in fact, it has appeared to shrink. What's wrong with that picture? People come once or twice, and then don't come back. To me, that shows there is something not right...and maybe it's this false delusion that God will always give you what you ask for....or maybe it's something more than that. Anyways...my eyes are open and I'm definitely guarding my heart.
Also, in certain recent events I have become more aware that there are some people in that group that I can no longer trust...and I don't feel comfortable sharing some of the stuff going on in my life with any of them. There are maybe one or two that I would share things with, if the situation was different, but the rest of the group I feel would probe and these people would crack under the pressure to "gossip" (for lack of better words) about what's going on in someone's life. Which is sad, because I believe we all need people to talk to at times....but the persistance to show up at someone's house to pray for them when there was no invitation to come to the house, really bothers me. I dunno....I see that more as pushing to know the details of the person's problem rather than actually caring for them. For example....I recently said that I had a prayer request but that I couldn't go into detail...rather than simply saying "ok i'll pray for you, for whatever it is"...I get "we're coming over and you're going to tell us what's going on"...um excuse me, but no...I did not at any time invite you and I explicitly said that it was something that I could not go into detail about. Why can't they respect that?! To me that's not Christian. My church back home had no problem praying for you if you said you had an unspoken prayer request...that created a safe atmosphere to acknowledge that 'hey, I need prayer, but I can't really say the details about why', and then they carried on with their lives. There was no pushing to get information and definitely no just showing up at someone's house demanding to know what it was that they wanted prayer for. To me that is completely disrespectful and that's my opinion...and if you disagree then fine, but frankly...how many people want someone they, in reality, don't really know much about probing into the details of their private life?! Not me, that's for sure.
I have more thoughts, but at this point I'm still struggling to sort through them all and can't yet put them into words. This is something that is going to take time for me to deal with and work through...and just because I have these thoughts doesn't mean I'm moving away from Christianity...in fact it's making me move more towards relying on God even more than I already was instead of humanity. In the end, isn't it my relationship with God that matters the most?! So, whoever reads this, if anyone....please just give what I had to say some thought...it may seem a bit garbled, but it's something I am trying to make sense of on my own.
