School:
The first semester is just wrapping up and what a ride it has been. I have started my law degree at Newcastle and there are a few things that I've taken away from it about school in general and about myself as well. The structure here, while it is a great school, could use a bit of tweaking. It's disheartening when you invest in yourself to be here and you have a professor tell you that they pretty much could care less about why you're there. I see so many of the students not really caring because they don't want to be there for the mere reason that they have no idea what they want to do in life. Alot of the first years I have spoken to since I got here applied to the school because their parents told them to and that they really couldn't be bothered. That really threw me...didn't expect it at all. I know sometimes people need to figure out where they want to go...but some of them REALLY have no idea...don't even know what they like to do apart from drink. Sad really....
I find it frustrating at times, and have over the weeks during the first semester when I've witnessed the students not taking it seriously, reminded myself that I am here for me and no one else. If they don't want to take it seriously then that's up to them, but for me this is my chance to do something to get me one step closer to my goals in life. I have known that law was the career I wanted for a long time now and nothing is going to stop me from achieving that goal. One day at a time though and one year of law school at a time as well.
The school itself is fantastic. It's a mix of the old with the new and it's done in such a tasteful way that you can see how the school has transformed through the years to continually incorporate the up and coming generations while respecting the work and dedication of generations gone by. The architecture is beautiful and on the days when the sun is shining, and no need to rush from class to class...I find myself taking pictures to capture memories of this place.
Life in general:
There have been good days and there have been some bad over the last few months. I've spent a few nights crying myself to sleep...but that's normal right?! Been thinking alot about my goals and the things I want to do in life...it's amazing to me that I've come this far and I'm still learning new things about myself. How is that even possible?! You would think out of all the people in this world that you would know yourself the best...but that's unfortunately not always the case.
I have learned how, on my own I can be a better teacher to myself of things that are supposed to be taught by someone in that profession. haha! I guess I just don't have the patience to really gain much from someone who talks to people like they are idiots, so I've come to rely on myself in a number of different areas.
Also, since being here, I have learned that there are people in my life that I NEED to be around...hahaha! Lame I know, because people say you should never depend on anyone else...but while I am living my own life for me as an independent person, I have been shown that I can't do it on my own. There are those that I need to be "close" to. There are people here that I am friends with but I still wouldn't say they were a friend I could tell my deepest secrets to and in actual fact I don't see myself being able to at all...there is just some kind of connection not clicking to make me feel that comfortable with some of them...but certain individuals back home in Canada...I could tell them anything.
I miss C***....her and I...we are the type of friends who are so similar that we just understand each other and why the other feels a certain way. There aren't many friendships like that in this world...
Being in England, I have met some really interesting people. Oh there are people I get along with really well and enjoy hanging out with...but for one such individual it has to come only in small doses. She has turned what I thought would be a great friendship into one where I feel like I'm being spoken for when I a)don't need to be, b) have nothing to say on a particular subject and c) really just dont want to be involved with. It's fine hanging out when she's not freaking out over things that really don't need to be freaked out about..and when giving advice to help...which is what friends do...it's like it goes in one ear and out the other and she would rather be stressing out about something that doesn't even have to be worried about. *sigh*
Love:
I miss a certain individual immensely and while being here is great, it has been hard being away from him.
We talk on a daily basis and I don't know what I would do if we couldn't communicate. He is my soul mate, that is for sure, and I'm so grateful to him and to be talking about the future together and the happiness that we will experience together. For the first time, my relationship with someone has been about a true love, built on friendship, trust, and happiness. That's what it should be about...it shouldn't be about being afraid of being alone in life....with him my life is complete. I feel safest in his arms...and I want to spend my whole life showing him just how much he means to me and how much I love him.
Well, this post has become a bit long winded. And now that I've had a splurge on here I shall do what I can to maintain it on a better and more consistent basis. Perhaps do a weekly update as time goes by and see what happens. :P Maybe even throw in special posts for special occasions.
So as I say farewell from St Mary's College for the night...I will continue to reflect on where I am now and where 2012 will take me in all its greatness!!
